How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex {Without Suffering a Panic Attack!}

Does the thought of talking to your kids about the birds and the bees induce a panic attack? I'll admit, it can be pretty scary, but it is so important! We live in a vastly different world than the one we grew up in. If we don't teach our kids about sex {while teaching our core family values on the subject}, their peers, the internet, television and social media will. And, I promise, what they teach will likely not include values of any sort. So, with a lot of help from Educate Empower Kids, let's talk about how to talk to your kids about sex.

It's no secret that kids can and will find out about sex on their own. We could sit back and do nothing, and our kids would learn all sorts of things about sex and intimacy without our help. The problem is that most of the information would be wrong and potentially dangerous to their emotional, physical, and spiritual well being. It's better that kids learn the truth in an environment where they are free to ask questions without any judgement. Only then can we teach our value system along with a healthy body image and understanding of sexual intimacy in it's proper place.

I was recently asked to review a series of books that do an excellent job of empowering parents to make these healthy conversations simple and non-intimidating.

30 Days of Sex Talks is a series of three books (Ages 3-7, ages 8-11, and ages 12+) written to help parents . Their goal is to provide parents with an opportunity to start conversations about crucial topics and to help create an environment which encourages open discussions about the many other issues which will inevitably come up as you are raising your children.

So, how do we have these conversations without feeling intimidated? Just do it! There's no better way to overcome fear than to just do it. Take the first step. Start with a topic you are comfortable with, and build from there. The books make it easy to start simple and build on those conversations, and they begin with clear instructions to help you be successful.

How to Teach Your Children About Sex

Be the Source

You direct the conversations, and bring up issues that you feel are most important. Help your kids know that you are the best source of information about sex and intimacy for them. Teach them that you will be honest with them and answer their questions. As you teach, take into account your personal values, religious beliefs, and the individual personalities of your children.

Focus on Intimacy

Help your child understand how incredible and uniting sex can be (at the proper time). Spend a significant amount of time talking about the beauty of love and the reality of real relationships and how they are built and maintained. Help children recognize the difference between the unhealthy relationships portrayed in media and real emotional intimacy.

In my family, I will teach that sex is a beautiful thing that unites a man and a woman, but that God meant it to be saved for marriage. That is not likely what my children will learn at school. My husband and I will be the source for those critical lessons.

Answer Your Child's Questions

Don't be embarrassed by your child's curiosity and questions. If you act embarrassed, you teach your children that there is something shameful about these topics. Answer openly and honestly.

Be Positive

No fear! Just jump in and get started. Make these conversations a positive experience between you and your children. Don't be surprised when they start opening up to you about other topics they have questions about. This new and open discussion will inevitably lead to more and better conversations with your kids.

I love that these conversations will create an open atmosphere where our kids will feel comfortable talking to us about anything. After all, if they can talk to us about sex with no judgement, then they ought to be able to talk to us about anything, right?

Each book is written specifically for a different age group of kids.  The lessons are presented as 30 different topics, each followed by several bullet points with terms and discussion ideas. The questions and activities are designed to inspire conversations between you and your child. It is up to you, the parent, to decide which topics are appropriate for your child, and to bring your core family values into the discussions.

I love that we're given the ideas and how to start, but that we have the freedom to adapt the lessons to our family and to each child. I'll admit, there are some lessons that I will choose not to cover. I know there are some topics that my children are not ready for. But, because we will have had so many open conversations, I know that my children will feel comfortable coming to me when they are ready for those topics.

What do you think? Are you ready? I have all three books, and I have already started with my youngest child. I'm a little more intimidated to talk to my teen, but I will do it. I've committed to it right here on the internet, so it's time to get started. Will you?

If you'd like to use the books to get started on your own conversations, you can find them here.

*Thank you to Educate Empower Kids for sponsoring this post. All opinions are my own.

Check out some of my other parenting tips below. Images are linked to posts. Click on the image to visit the post.